these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
