Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
