sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
