I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it's like heaven, but drunker
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
