wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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