Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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