She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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