i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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