We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
