And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
