Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
