This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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