She's JV to your varsity
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
