Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
