I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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