just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
