We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
