Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
