I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
