Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
this hospital has no fireball
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
