I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
