you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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