The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
tell me about the eggs
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize