bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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