just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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