From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize