You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
