How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Say something about gay babies.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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