their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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a search helicopter?!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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