remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
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Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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