i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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