But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
