nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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