Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Damn victory sex feels great
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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