We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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