Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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