whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
