why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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