If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
