HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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