The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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