you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
