I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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