just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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