My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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