Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
