Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
