I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?