all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk