Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.