I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
