Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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