I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is