MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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