This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize