I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
soo... how was my night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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