we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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