Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize