Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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