Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize