Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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