Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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